I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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