Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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