it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
