My friends, they love my intelligence
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
