Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
