It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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