Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
