Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Be still, my beating vagina.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
