It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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