i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
