She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
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Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
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I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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