he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
As shirtless as possible
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
