i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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