If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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