There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
