if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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