i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
