it hurts more in the daytime
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
