i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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