how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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