Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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