You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Do vagina's smell?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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