She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
