I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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