Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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