i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
i now understand why vodka
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
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