What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
