After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
pop tarts are not kleenex
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize