We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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