1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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