But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
i was born a porn star she said
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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