I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
