My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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