ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
