I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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