Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
