I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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