Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
