My nipple is on Facebook.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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