Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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