Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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