there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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