just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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