some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
