i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Randomize
