What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Is Oprah even human
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
