Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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