1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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