Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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