He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
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it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
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They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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