party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize