He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
