How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Come share oat with me in your robe
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
