Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
