Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now