Why are handjobs necessary in class?
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.