3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.