Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?