It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins