If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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